


Daily Dad Discussions

by Seokjinbias22



Category: EXO (Band), GOT7, NCT (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band), VIXX, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Matchmaking, Shipping, chat fics, little angst, theyre just dads dealing with the troubles of life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-07-27 16:53:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16223321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seokjinbias22/pseuds/Seokjinbias22
Summary: A bunch of Bitchy dads dealing with their deadbeat husbands and gossiping about their multiple children with the side of a bottle of wine or two bottles. Just keep the wine coming, they're tired.





	1. Another Monday morning from hell

 Kim Seokjin could go into a whole monologue about what, when and how everything had taken place. He, however, did not have time to educate the masses about the craziness that is his life. So we simply start with today: 

" I'm leaving boys " seokjin practically screamed into the void. None of his members were evening paying attention. 

" Where you off to babe ? " ah finally, at least his husband cares about him. 

" I'm off to meet the rest of the guys namjoonie " he replies. 

" Oh you mean your dysfunctional judgy group of friends" pipes Jungkook from the couch of the living room where the rest of the members were chilling.

"I resent that. They're perfectly normal," said seokjin.

" Hyung you only say that cause you're exactly the same " retorts Jimin. 

" so who all are going to be there this time ? " questions Jungkook. 

" Is the _“I don’t care about my children at all. I treat them just like the rest of the world. With major criticism minor surprise with a hint concern”_ Jinyoung from got7 coming?" asked Namjoon.

" Or is the _“ I’m a divorced father of 8 stuck in a love triangle with a man in China and a bratty child ”_ Junmyeon from Exo?" asked Jimin.

" Or is the _“I have too much love to give and you have to take it. Don’t like it? Suffer”_  Hakyeon from vixx?" asked Taehyung.

" Or is the “ _I have fruits in the form of wine for dinner otherwise I would never be able to cope with my ever growing children_  ” Taeyong from Nct?" asked Hoseok.

" Or is the “  _I did not marry two husbands for nothing, they’ll take care of the 10 children. Excuse me it’s time for my nap”_  Jeonghan from seventeen? " asked Yoongi.

" Its all of them, also I see you guys have some harsh opinion of my friends. I would suggest you keep them to yourself from now on, you all know the consequences " jin said with a smile and left the home. ' ah the feeling of getting the last word " 

All of his friends were members of respectable boy groups who had an image to protect. They were all a bunch of frustrated bitchy dads who needed some relief and their relief mostly came from getting pass out drunk. Don't judge they're classy individuals, and only consume wine. A lot of wine, too much wine. So they book expensive separate rooms in restaurants, so as to have some privacy.

Kim Seokjin enters the room, let the discussions begin. 

(  _Bands Present: BTS, EXO, VIXX, GOT7, SVT, NCT_  )

 

**Seokjin** : Hello bitches. 

**Junmyeon** : You're late.

**Seokjin:**  Seriously do you ever stop bitching? 

**Junmyeon** : No.

**Seokjin:**  I know that is like the point of this whole thing, but seriously. No wonder our kids hate us. 

**Hakyeon** : Oh please my kids don't hate me.

**Taeyong** : If you can bring the evidence to prove that I'll buy you a crater of wine. 

**Jinyoung:**  Weren't you contemplating whether even your husband loves you or not last week?

**Hakyeon:**   Don't open my mouth, we know exactly who jaebum is cuddling along with you these days.

**Jeonghan:**  At least your two husbands didn't go out for a date leaving you alone at home. 

**Taeyong:**  were you napping?? 

**Jeonghan:**  yes But-

**Taeyong:** There's your answer, you have the most considerate boyfriends. Its unreal honestly. 

**Jinyoung:**  Anyways hows our recent target for matchmaking, chanbaek doing? 

**Junmyeon:**  Well things were going well until someone's child decided to spoil everything.

**Jeonghan** : You're gonna have to be a little more speific jun. 

**Junmyeon** : It was our amazing leader's child.

**Seokjin:**  Was it yoongi ? cause he likes to do things out of spite- 

**Junmyeon:**  No it was jimin, he was over the dorms to hang out with jongin and taemin-

**Jeonghan:**  Taemin is so insanely hot its not even fair. 

**Taeyong** : Aw don't be jealous bub you're hot too. 

**Jeonghan:**  I'm not being jealous i'm being gay taeyong.

**Junmyeon:**  Anyways back to the point, so jimin was over and everyone is well aware that chanyeol cannot resist cute and soft and giggly things. 

**Hakyeon** : I see the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. 

**Taeyong** : I'm sensing a story behind that statement 

**Jinyoung** : You remember when wonsik and jaehwan almost broke up right after ISAC last year ?  

**Jeonghan** : Who doesn't remember that, we all thought hakyeon was going to die of alcohol poisoning that week. 

**Hakyeon** : That all happened because of a certain clingy broad shouldered man or should I say hoe.

**Seokjin** : Yes and what of it ? How was I to know shik had a possessive streak in him ? 

**Jinyoung**  : Its always the silent ones you have to look out for.

**Junmyeon** : Seriously namjoon deserves a prize for dealing with you Jinnie

**Taeyong** : I'm surprised he hasn't left your sorry ass yet. 

**Seokjin** : That's because we understand each other and is why we work very well as a couple, also cause I have a very hot ass. 

**Jinyoung** : I call absolute bullshit. That week he came to our dorm at 4 in the morning seeking emotional comfort from Jackson. 

**Jeonghan** : You really fucked him up hyung. 

**Seokjin** : Bold of you to assume I didn't know exactly what I was doing. We had some of the best sex of our relationship that week. 

**Seokjin** : But I didn't know that effected him emotionally. I'll talk to him. Communication is key kids 

**Junmyeon** : Anyways your ship was saved hakyeon and yours was rocked jin, can you finally help save mine ? 

**Hakyeon** : okay so what's the situation now ? 

**Junmyeon** : They're not talking to each other , eating less, sleeping more. You know teenage angst. 

**Jinyoung** : aah children. 

**Jeonghan** : And the arguments ? 

**Junmyeon** : Baeks jealous so instead of dealing with his emotions like an adult. 

**Taeyong** : we've established that they're children at this moment. 

**Junmyeon** : so he insults chanyeol instead and of course chan gets offended ( hurt ) cause his crush is telling him he's no good. 

**Jeonghan** : They're in such a bad state and you're sitting here drinking wine with us ? 

**Junmyeon** : You're gonna question my parenting skill ? Mr. My children burned down the kitchen while my husbands were at work cause I was sleep ? Hmm ? 

**Jeonghan** : Bitch. 

**Seokjin** : Anyways. Let's get to thinking of a plan. 

**Jinyoung** : Baekhyun needs to admit to his jealously. Usually I'm not for these tactics but chanyeol needs to witness his jealously, not get burned in the aftermath. 

**Hakyeon** : Talk to Jimin, Jin. We need to set up a date. 

**Seokjin** : Okay final matter for the day. 

**Taeyong** : oh I didn't know we had anything left. 

**Junmyeon** : Cause we didn't tell you about it 

**Taeyong** : You hid something from me ! 

**Hakyeon** : Are you really surprised at this point? 

**Taeyong** : Not really tbh *shrugs* so what is it ? 

**Jeonghan** : So we're planning to invite Doyoung into the discussion. 

**Taeyong** : Hahahahahhaa no.

**Seokjin** : oh yes 

**Taeyong** : But why 

**Jinyoung** : Actually we originally wanted to invite doyoung instead of you 

**Hakyeon** : He's sassier, bitchier. And is a good schemer 

**Junmyeon** : But we found out he's the second father.

**Seokjin** : But we have also thought since he raised the dreamies and you have like 18 children, two parental representatives are justified.

**Taeyong** : I did not sign up for all this slander 

**Jeonghan** : What else do we do except slander each other honestly ?!? 

**Jinyoung** : Dude we're bitches but we're loyal. 

**Hakyeon** : It's just something to think about. 

**Junmyeon** : Also we know you're fucking him. 

**Jeonghan** : You told me you like jaehyun !!

**Taeyong** : Well jaehyun satisfies my heart and Doyoung satisfies my perverted mind. It's hard to decide. Help me.

**Seokjin** : Sounds like a personal problem. 

**Jinyoung** : That means, it's not interesting enough. Next. 

**Seokjin** : So I'm doing a little survey. If you like me, raise your hand

**Junmyeon** : What do i do if I don't like you though.

**Seokjin** : Then raise your standards bitch tf

[End]

 

 

 


	2. Maknae on top ? Haha please.

_(Bands present BTS, EXO, GOT7, SVT, NCT, and VIXX)_

**Junmyeon :** Random question. Do you guys have a favorite child?

**Jeonghan :** No I love them all equal-of course I have a favorite child.

**Hakyeon**  : Who is yours then ?

**Seokjin  :** Chan ?

**Jeonghan :** Oh no that big boy doesn't listen to me anymore, it’s my fool seokmin.

**Taeyong :** Hmm so you like people you can dominate easily.

**Jeonghan :** Doesn't expose my kinks asshole.

**Seokjin** : Jinyoung ?

**Jinyoung** : Youngjae.

**Junmyeon** : Isn't he your husband’s mistress?

**Jinyoung** : Guys .No okay he's not. Jaebum would have said something. Look I don't know. 

**Hakyeon** : look I know we've made this joke twice but its only cause we're like giving you an opportunity to talk about it. We all know you're stressed about this. 

**Jinyoung** : I don't know what to do. I'm not usually insecure or you know one of those suspecting significant other. 

**Jeonghan** : But ? 

**Jinyoung** : it's insane how close they are, its driving me crazy.

**Taeyong** : I think you should just talk to him about everything.

**Junmyeon** : I agree. You remember when you guys relationship was on the rocks like in the earlier stages and we gave you the advice to make him jealous.

**Jeonghan** : and he actually believed it and broke up with you, thinking you would be happier without him and shit. 

**Jinyoung** : I guess you guys are right. I'll be straight forward with him about how I've been feeling.

**Seokjin** : BTW what did you do that he was so convinced you were happy without him. 

**Jinyoung** : I just stopped bitching to him. 

**Hakyeon** : oh no wonder he thought your relationship was over. 

**taeyong**  : now that that’s sorted anyone know any good substitutes for love and personal fulfillment ? 

**Seokjin** : crunch wrap supreme from taco bell. 

**Junmyeon**  : I’m pretty sure you’re an emotional eater but I’m not your therapist so it’s not my job to make you aware of that.

**Seokjin** : what the ?

**Jinyoung** : Jin listen. Where's jungkook ? He isn't answering yugyeoms texts and he wants a play date.  
  
**Seokjin** : Oh he annoyed me so I killed him and buried him in the garden.  
  
**Jeonghan** : I feel you  
  
**Taeyong** : The maknaes are such little shits I swear to god.  
  
**Hakyeon** : Hyuk never let's me love him.  
  
**Junmyeon** : That cause you smother him dude.  
  
**Jinyoung** : Like if you were like a demigod in the Percy Jackson series. You would get your strength from affection.  
  
**Jeonghan** : Junmyeon you're strangely quiet.  
  
**Taeyong** : Its cause he's fucking his maknae.  
  
**Hakyeon** : It's fine. You know we don't judge. I mean we do. However, it’s chill.  
  
**Junmyeon** : Have jikook got together already ?  
  
**Seokjin** : Don’t think we didn't notice that topic change. Also Nope  
  
**Jinyoung** : Is it the company that's troubling ?  
  
**Seokjin** : Bold of you to assume I would let the company come in the way of my children's happiness  
But no its cause they're oblivious idiots. 

**Hakyeon**  : did your phone just vibrate itself off the table jinyoung ?

**Jinyoung**  : yeah its trying to commit suicide. Poor thing yugyeom’s spamming me. He really wants to meet jungkook. You didn’t really kill jungkook did you jin ? 

**Jinyoung** : I don’t care but yugyeom will be upset, which will make jaebum concerned, which will affect my sex life so i guess i care a little.

**seokjin** : no he’s alive unfortunately, he just doesn’t have his phone 

**jeonghan** : you have the power to confiscate his phone ???

**seokjin** : no but Namjoon does and it didn’t take much to convince him :) 

**Taeyong** : Good to know sex is a great convincer 

**Seokjin** : Oh no I just asked Namjoon if he wanted to annoy jungkook and he instantly said yes 

**Junmyeon** : I don't blame him maknae's are a pain in the ass 

**Jinyoung** : You would know wouldn't you ? 

**Junmyeon** : Yes but also sehun is such a brat.

**Hakyeon** : With that face and body, I would be a brat too. 

**Jeonghan** : I've been taking online psychology classes and Been using that info to manipulate my members into doing my bidding. 

**Seokjin :**  How has no one caught you yet?

**Jeonghan:**  Dumb luck, in that I’m lucky they're all so dumb.

**Taeyong** : Teach me please. 

**Jeonghan** : Nah it's not a permanent thing, I'm pretty sure Chan’s catching on. 

**Seokjin** : GUYS so Namjoon texted me that jungkook found out that I'm the reason he doesn't have a phone and he's pissed. 

**Junmyeon** : Why are you scared you are the dad you know? 

**Seokjin** : He can probably Bench press all of us together, he isn't called muscle pig for nothing. 

**Jinyoung** : I'm sure you'll be fine.  

**Seokjin** : I'm pretty sure I'm going to die 

**Hakyeon** : seokjin. 

**Seokjin :**  Write "nothing is set in stone" on my grave as both a witty pun and a subtle warning that I will be back.

**Taeyong** : No wonder you want to be an actor. 

**Jeonghan** : Ignore the dramatic bitch. I've been killing myself all week trying to drop a pound. How do you manage to keep in shape taeyong ?

**Jinyoung :** Running from commitment.

**Taeyong** : No that's so not true 

**Junmyeon** : Then have you chosen between Doyoung and Jaehyun ? 

**Taeyong** : ... 

**Hakyeon :**  You have to decide!

**Taeyong :**  I tried! I even made a pros and cons list: Jaehyun, good shoulder to cry on- Doyoung, good shoulders.

**Jeonghan** : okay enough of your love life. How are the children ? 

**Taeyong :**  I caught Jaemin and Haechan dancing on the kitchen table to S&M by Rihanna in their boxers yesterday. It was sadly the tamest thing that’s happened all week.

**Junmyeon** : Sometimes I really hate SM 

**Jeonghan  :** would you set the building on fire for a million dollars?

**Junmyeon** : I’d set the building on fire for a fucking tic tac if I had the chance.

**Seokjin** : we'll talk about your anger issues later. Hakyeon? Any complains about your maknae. I noticed you haven't said much about him 

**Hakyeon** : I get that hyuk doesn't like affection plus I'm used to that. It's the teasing about being dark that really gets to me. I guess I'm just a little extra sensitive about it.

**Jinyoung :**  You're going to go through life thinking that people don't like you because your skin color is a little dark. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won't be true. It'll be because you're a gossiping bitch. 

**Taeyong** : On a serious note. Nobody gets to make fun of you about what shade your skin is. It's you and you're beautiful as you are.

**Jeonghan** : I have to say that even thought our maknae's piss us off to no end. We know it's all in teasing and fun and that they love us.

( _Almost all agree_ ) 

**Jinyoung** : y'all speak for yourself. If I woke up one day and killing was legal. 

**Hakyeon**  : You would kill yugyeom.

**Jinyoung** : Wouldn't even think twice. 

 [End] 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would love to hear your thoughts.  
> My tumblr : https://monthlymidlifecrisis.tumblr.com/   
> Also if there is any situation or ship or anything you would want the Dads to react to, let me know in the comments.   
> :)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked it. This stems from my tumblr @monthlymidlifecrisis where more daily dad discussion are available. If you wanna check them out or come chat with me. let me know what you think :)


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